I tried for many years to create what I thought was the best version of myself according to society’s standards. This included maintaining honors in school, not partying/being trashy, having a boyfriend that I could marry after college, and obtaining a respectable job with a good income.
I accomplished all of the things I set out to do. I knew I looked good to the outsiders. My family was proud of me. People commented on how well I did for myself.
I’m not saying these are bad goals, but they weren’t purely mine. I based them on what I thought people wanted out of me.
I spent a lot of time becoming the person I thought I should be rather than who I was meant to be.
I don’t regret any decisions I’ve made, but moving forward, I want to be better at trusting myself. It’s okay to ask for advice, but when it’s all said and done, it’s my decision what I do. Even the people who have my best interest at heart don’t know my inner thoughts, hopes, and dreams. When I lie in the silence of the night, only I know what runs through my mind. I have to answer to myself. Nobody else has to live with my “what ifs” and “should I have”.
So we all need to think right now…what would you do if you didn’t care what people thought? If you were afraid of judgement, what would you do? That is what you should be doing.
I know it’s easier said than done, but I can work on this. I, along with everyone else, have the right to do the things I want. I can be who I want and accomplish what I want.
Never let anyone tell you how to live your life.