He Is Exactly What I Need, But Do I Want Him?


I am a very picky person when it comes to guys. There are certain things I need someone to have, such as a stable lifestyle and a caring personality. But why is, that when I find the guy that matches everything I need, I don’t want him?

I spent two years talking to someone on and off. I would describe his lifestyle as stable. He received his masters degree, became a teacher, coaches basketball and baseball, and doesn’t live with his parents. I would describe his personality as sweet and humble. He has a solid relationship with his mother and sister, which I value because I put family above everything.

Beyond his personal qualifications, he was able to handle my personality and lifestyle. When I was making good money working for the state, I used every dollar to travel. I was in New York, New Jersey, Boston, Vegas, California, Dallas and Austin, Texas, and Japan. When I was home, I was always going out with my friends and I tend to get a little wild. I have a hard time committing to relationships and I like to do things on my own. But all of this didn’t stop him from pursuing me.

I thought we could be the perfect match so inevitably, I kept pursing him as well. I thought that his calm ways would balance me out. I’ve felt outside pressures that suggested I should calm down and he was defiantly the guy to do that with.

But no matter how perfect he appeared, there was always something missing. I ignored it early on. I got caught up in trying to make it work and really couldn’t put my finger on what was off.

Ironically, I met someone that did not fit anything I wanted, but there was an undeniable connection. This made me reevaluate my relationship with the guy that I had been seeing for the past two years. All of a sudden, it just clicked. He is not the guy that I fall madly in love with. He is the guy that I settle for because he can provide a stable and secure life. I might not be fully satisfied ten years from now on the inside, but we’ll look great from the outside.

Sometimes we settle for less than fireworks because comfortability is more appealing than uncertainty. We’ve been taught that we should strive for marriage, a good career, and family by a certain age. If we don’t achieve it, there is something wrong with us.

But, maybe comfortability isn’t always right. Maybe you should go for the person that makes you feel alive. The safe life can get boring and you might wonder if you could of done better.

You have one life to live. Don’t settle for anything and most importantly, trust your feelngs. They are always right.

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