A great, last minute, opportunity presented itself to me this week. I didn’t want to turn it down, but I thought about it because I had no one to join me. Who wants to go to an event alone?
The event landed on a Thursday and Friday. I already have a small pool of friends to pick from when I want to make plans in California so now imagine trying to get someone last minute to go somewhere during a week day.
Not going to happen.
I don’t start my new job until next week so I had the time to attend the event. I really had no reason not to go other than I would go alone.
So, do I go by myself or do I miss out and hope I can make up for it another time (which I probably couldn’t)?
For a period of time, I would classify myself as the crazy friend that was living life from her heart and not her head. I made risky decisions about what I wanted and took chances. Eventually it got to a point where that started to scare me so I stopped. I became closed off and more frequently anxiety ridden. I became afraid of taking risks because I dove too far down the risk hole (is that a word? probably not, but you get the point). All I wanted was a “normal” life back.
Because I tend to be a perfectionist, I did accomplish morphing myself back into a “normal” girl. Although there were a lot of benefits from this, I lost a part of me. It took time, but I learned that I don’t need to be one or the other. What I actually need is a balance of myself.
2020, I promised myself I would put myself out there more. I would find my happy medium. I won’t try to contain my excitement for new adventures so much.
So I took the opportunity. Day one, Thursday, shortly after arriving, I met someone who was also there alone. Perfect. Made a friend. Everything worked out.
But then there was a day two. Doubt started to creep in. This is the actual event. I am going to be there all night. I am going to be alone. Am I going to look stupid? Am I going to have fun? I wonder if I’ll run into that boy. What if I don’t?
That’s anxiety ridden Carissa creeping in. But then fun Carissa kicked in. She knew everything was going to be fine. I can make friends. I can have fun. I will be okay.
As soon as I got in line to go into the event, I noticed the person in back of me was alone too. He began talking to me right away. I spent the entire time with him.
The moral of the story is that God, the universe, whatever you believe in, has your back. If you put yourself out there and do the things that make you happy, good things will come back.
Of course someone could argue this was all good luck and if they go somewhere alone, they might not meet someone. This is true. But even if I hadn’t met anyone, I still would have been happy I went.
The event was great. It was something I genuinely wanted to do and will remember forever. I can’t let myself miss out on things just because I can’t find someone else to come with me. Make things happen for you. Take advantage of everything that comes your way. Do what you want.
You can be alone and be happy. You can make more friends and be happy. But will sitting at home, thinking about the things you are missing out on make you happy? Probably not.
Worst case scenario, you go and don’t like it. At least you tried and now you never have to wonder “what if”. To me, that is always the number 1 reason to go. I don’t like a life of “what ifs”.