I have a solid group of friends that I would consider family. Lately one of my friends has been acting different and the vibe is off. I want to take space, but feel guilty because friends don’t “ditch” one another. But what if you really feel you need some space?
Depending on what type of friendships you have, friends can be very overwhelming at times. If you talk all the time and hang out often, there is a good chance they can get on your nerves. That’s not just friendships, that is anyone you spend a lot of time with, such as family, spouses, co-workers, and so on. Also, as I’m sure you know, people change. The friend you met in high school is likely not the same exact person in college. Sometimes the change flows with yours and other times it doesn’t. Taking space from anyone is acceptable. We have the right to pick and chose who we want in our lives and we have the right to question if people still continue to serve a purpose in our lives. What we do not have the right to do is hurt someone.
If you need space from a friend, be honest and kind at the same time. Let the person know that there have been some changes that are on your mind and you want time to think about them. Let them know you feel overwhelmed or you just need a break. If it is a good friend, they are going to support you. They may feel offended at first and need some time before they support you, but ultimately, they will support you.
During the time you take a part, think about what is bothering you. Is the issue worth ending the friendship over? If it’s not, you should probably think about how you want to approach the topic because you will eventually need to talk about it. Good friends will be ready to listen and will be understanding towards your feelings.
If you find that the conversation doesn’t go well, the space is actually better than you thought, or you find the friendship less important then maybe the space will turn into a “breakup”.
Reality is, people come and go in your life. We outgrow people and change all the time. You do not need to keep someone in your life that is not serving a purpose, brings you down, or does not make you happy.
The best advice is to follow your gut when it comes to these things. Take the break if you feel you need it. Do not feel guilty for listening to your instincts. Also, do not feel guilty if you decide half way through taking space that it was mistake and you want your friend back. Talk to them and they will be there.
We tend to make things harder than they need to be. I know I do. Being honest about how you feel is always the best decision. Like I said before, good friends will want what is best for you and will care about how you are feeling. Even better friends will want to help fix it.