I’m a mess, but I haven’t always been. I’ve lost myself a little bit. I need to get back to me. I need to be on track.

So this is a promise letter to myself. These are the things I will do to feel in control again.

1. I will make time for myself. I used to love alone time. I’m not sure what changed these past several months, but I’ve put my self-care to the side. I will bring it back.

2. I will challenge myself. I took a lot of risks in 2017. I quit my job, went on an adventure, moved across the country, and many other things. Everything became so overwhelming and I felt discouraged. I will no longer allow myself to feel defeated. I will get up and keep challenging myself. My break is over.

3. I will forgive myself. I have been so hard on myself this past year. I keep looking back and analyzing everything. I always think of that I could have done better, how I could have been better, accomplished more, and so on. The truth is, I have done a damn good job at taking risks and putting myself out there. I need to be proud of what I have accomplished,  not what I could have.

4. I will do the things I want to. I will stop finding excuses. I will stop being lazy. I will stop revolving my schedule around other people in my life. I said I was moving to California to have fun, find adventure, and find myself. I can’t let myself down.

5. I will stop worrying about what other people think of me. This is the hardest one for me to admit, but I have to be honest with myself. I don’t know when I turned into the girl that worries about other people’s opinions, but I have and I don’t like it. Maybe it’s because I lost myself. It’s easy to be confident when you have a “great” relationship, great grades in college, and an amazing job right when you graduate. It’s easy to be proud of yourself when money is not an issue, you can shop whenever you want, travel, and you’re living a stable life. But what about when all that is gone?  I’ve lost my confidence, but I will get it back.

2017 has been a whirlwind. I have felt sad, happy, anxious, lost, excited, scared, confused, and 100 other emotions. 2017 brought me to where I need to be. I will be a better me in 2018. I promise myself.