Head In The Clouds

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I’m sitting on a plane, staring out the window at the clouds beneath me. They are different shades of beautiful colors from the sunset.

I start to think of life. Everything that’s changing around me.

As I’m thinking, you come to mind.

I’ve put myself out there a lot for you. Probably further out than I should, considering our situation. Why put time, effort, and heart into something that is more likely to break than succeed?

As I start to freak myself out about how deep in I am, I begin telling myself to pull back. Be smart. Care less. It’s most important to protect your heart. Move forward with less emotion.

But then I think about you again.

I’m not in this alone. We both are taking risks and we both are working towards overcoming our obstacles.

You haven’t run from this even though things aren’t easy. If anything, you are more likely to get hurt than me.

So what do I do?

I have two options:

  • Gradually pull back until the feelings go away so I can beat defeat to the punch.
  • Continue putting myself out there and see what happens.

The first option keeps me safe, but guarantees we don’t workout. It leaves us both hurt and with “what ifs”.

The second option provides a chance (a little chance, but still a chance nonetheless). A chance to see what this can be.

I’m trying to live my life with less “what ifs” and more courage. Maybe we can find a way to overcome these obstacles or maybe we won’t. Either way, I’ll be able to say I tried and I didn’t let my insecurities stop me.

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