Who Should You Keep?

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We all want to be liked. We want to have friends and feel like we belong. But is it more important to have a few respectable, loyal friends or a bunch of half-assed, convenient friends?

If you’re having a hard time figuring out who are the important people in your life, here is a list of qualities you should look for in your friend group. Put these people on your team.

 

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It’s not what you fight about, it’s how you fight

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The cliche line comes spewing out of my mouth mid-argument, “If you think we’re fighting about the plans, you have no idea what we’re fighting about.” I see those eyes staring back at me in confusion.

We’ve all had these kinds of fights. The ones that could have been avoided if we said something sooner, before we were angry and just took the next opportunity to let it all out.

How did this happen? More importantly, how do I stop it from happening again?

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How It Feels To Leave A Life Behind

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Since high school, I have been saying that I am moving to California. First it was for college. College came and I didn’t make the leap for a few different reasons. I told myself it was okay because I would get the opportunity again when I apply for master’s degree. When application time approached, I visited schools such as UCLA and USC with my grandparents. Simultaneously, I applied for jobs at home. I’m not sure why I did that if I knew I wanted to move, but I did. I got offered a job working for the state of Connecticut and took it. I figured I would work a couple years, save money,  have the job help pay for school in CT, and then make the move. Two years was quickly approaching at my job and my masters was not completed and there was no plan to move.

I was torn between wanting stability and wanting adventure. I couldn’t tell if I would be okay leaving my family behind and starting over. I didn’t know if I should be content and appreciative of the career I had and all the benefits that came with it.

Ultimately, I chose adventure and this is what it felt like to leave.

 

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10 Signs It’s More Than A Crush

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1. You aren’t awkward anymore. It’s crazy to think this, but you’re actually yourself.  You say all the really stupid things you wanted to say before, but stopped yourself. It’s way past being worried about being judged. They already know you have a silly, loud, or crazy side and they didn’t run away.

2. You don’t need to do extravagant things or planned out date nights together. You’re happy with doing just about anything. With the right person, you could literally sit on a sidewalk and talk.  Conversation and laughter comes easy.

3. You stop analyzing everything they say and do. You don’t need hints to find out how you should feel or where they stand.

4. There’s no hyperventilating before inviting them somewhere with you. When you need a date for an event in a month, you invite them. It’s simple. They will go with you as long as they don’t have something else planned.

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Who You Should Let Go Of

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I have a habit of analyzing people, figuring out their habits, and then trying to counsel them. Maybe it’s the social worker in me. I will be friends with almost anyone.

The issue with this is that I can attract the wrong people. People that are very draining in nature. I take on the role of being a loyal listener and get involved with solving their problems as if they are my own. It becomes exhausting. So I hit the point when the person needs to step up and I need to step back.

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Why I Should Leave The Danger Zone

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Take it from someone who was once obsessed with the comfort zone, it’s all a lie. We think that nothing can go wrong in that place. It’s safe and clean. But it’s all fake.

Nobody has control over what life will bring you. So you can spend as much time as you want in that bubble, but I promise you, it won’t save you forever.

Beyond that, nothing grows there. It’s a trap to get stuck in a routine you think you like because you don’t know any better.

It’s time to move outside of the zone and here is why…

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Learn To Give Your Best

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You’ve proven yourself time and time again, but this is still new to me and old habits die hard.

I’m the first to jump to conclusions. I can convince myself of almost anything and I’ll always take the first opportunity to run. It’s nothing against you. It’s just who I’ve become.

I associate commitment with a loss of independence and my heart naturally longs for freedom.

Deep down I know relationships don’t have to be suffocating. I’m just biased because it’s all I’ve known.

But I think you can change my mind. You never ask too much of me. You care without expectation. I appreciate that about you. So I’ll try to be a better me because you’re always giving the best of you.

The Lucky One

I wouldn’t call myself a conceited person, but I do know my worth. I don’t freely offer my time, effort, or affection. You have to be lucky to get that.

Sure, I date casually. I keep people around for entertainment purposes and to pass time. But true commitment is a whole different story. There are high expectations that need to be met in order to catch me. Unfortunately, so many people seem mediocre.

Then I met you. Your raw emotion, ability to care, and genuine energy caught my attention and has not lost it since. Your sincerity found a way to make me open up about life, thoughts, past pain, and everything important to me.

I might not want to admit it, but I’m starting to wonder if I finally found someone worth giving my time, effort, and affection to?

As I’m pondering this question, you text me. A picture of a four leaf clover loads on my screen.

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You wanted to pick it when I was at your house, but forgot.  Now you’re upset it has two “stupid holes”.

It probably looked better when you first found it, but I’d rather get it now. This is the sign that helped me realize the answer to my question….

You are not the lucky one.

I am. Lucky to have someone who makes me feel cared for. Someone that thinks of me even during random, insignificant moments…like walking past clovers. Someone that shows genuine interest in my life and reminded me how to open up again. For so many reasons, I am lucky to have you.